Asking a friend to read your text has a structural flaw: they like you. What you get back is "yeah, good", which is kind and completely useless.
What you actually want is the thing an editor does - name the tone, say who this is for, point at what works, and then be specific about what does not. The specificity is the whole value. "Make it punchier" helps nobody. "Your second paragraph makes three claims and supports none of them" is something you can act on in a minute.
This prompt asks for a five-point report and, deliberately, a score out of ten with reasoning. The number is not the point; the reasoning behind the number is where the useful sentence usually hides.
Run it in the AIMIKA chat in Text mode.
You get five things: the tone, who the text actually reaches, what works, what specifically does not, and a score with reasoning. Read the second point first. If the audience it describes is not the audience you were writing for, nothing else in the report matters yet - you have found the problem.
The value is in the specificity. Generic feedback tells you to make it punchier; useful feedback quotes your second paragraph and explains that it makes three claims and supports none of them. Ask for lines to be quoted and you get the second kind.